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THE SECRET
The biggest secret to being a great lover is simply
to relax and enjoy. Take your time and savor each moment, each
touch, feel and movement as you might savor a good wine. Become a
gourmet love maker with a romantic attitude of love and adoration
for your partner. Get rid of hang-ups and allow yourself to
do what is very natural. Don't be shy, it's okay to talk about sex things.
Tell and show your partner what feels good to you.
When making
love focus your attentions on pleasing and pleasuring your lover. If there
are no mental or emotional blocks, nature will return the favor allowing
you to derive the greatest pleasures of lovemaking. If there are emotional
blocks, such as impotence, premature ejaculation or lack of sexual desire,
to your lovemaking, they won't go away by themselves, get professional
help.
MAKING LOVE VS ORDINARY
SEX
Making love, romantic love, as compared to having sex,
is vastly different. Making love is significantly more
pleasurable. Compare it to having filet minion or a cheap hamburger. You
can have a hamburger anytime and just gobble it down. But a steak like
filet minion, you will savor and enjoy. Making love is the filet minion of
sexual intercourse. You can have SEX anytime. By yourself or with a
partner. Your body will respond well enough for you to engage in the sex
act and have a sexual climax but that is not lovemaking.
Romantic
lovemaking on the other hand, can be an all day affair with subtle hints
at favors to be shared later. Every look, touch, word (even on the phone)
can have loving and sensual undertones filled with images and anticipated
pleasures. By the end of the day when you finally do get together it will
be "your dreams come true."
Romantic evenings, with a bottle of
wine, crackers and cheese add to the intensity of anticipated pleasures.
Cuddling and fondling can go a long way towards making your fantasies come
true. It is the dreaming and planning which builds desire. Do it
often.
PROBLEMS like these
don't just go away by themselves
you have to take
some action to help yourself
STRESS
What is preventing you from having a GREAT sex life?
STRESS could be. Stress is the number one problem in relationships
and comes in many forms. Wherever the cause of the stress, workplace, home
environment, lack of money, possibly the relationship itself,
stressful emotions can put a cap on sex, and romantic lovemaking
just doesn't happen.
The solutions to stress are as varied
as the problems of stress. It is important to recognize your stress and
how it is effecting your relationship. Ask yourself, what are some of the
things I can change? What do I have to accept as an unchangeable reality?
What are some of the stressful things in my life I cannot change? Am I
unnecessarily reacting and up tight about the pressures of life? When
and what am I going to do about the things I can change? Make a plan and
just do it.
Additionally, an effective and simple
solution to handling everyday stress problems, such as the pressures
at work, is to learn some relaxation techniques, meditation or SELF-HYPNOSIS.
You can also use an audio recording like POWERNAP that
will help you to relax at the end of your day paving the way to a much
more loving relationship. When you're not stressed, you're much more open
to making love.
ANGER
ANGER AND ARGUMENTSl DON'T lend themselves to
romantic lovemaking. No one wants to make love after being yelled at or
being made to feel sub-human. If and when your partner has yelling or
screaming fits he or she is out of control.
HINT: Don't yell
back. If you raise your voice you will lose control as well. You have
a better chance of resolving the moment by keeping your voice down. This
will effectively keep you much more in control. Talk it out later when
they are calmer.
Communications are very important in maintaining
a loving relationship. I believe it was Plato who said, "Falling in love
is easy. Keeping it is more difficult." Want to keep the
relationship? Communicate!
Anger and rage that is either
too frequent or excessive for the present situation usually has its origin
deeply rooted in the past. Anger destroys lovemaking and destroys
relationships. Get deep-seated anger cleared up. Learn more about negative
emotions.
RESENTMENT
Resentment is much like anger in that it is
emotionally stored, like a stack of dirty dishes on top of the other.
Each new "incident" compounds the annoyance. The definition
of resentment is to feel or express indignant displeasure at something you
regard as wrong, insulting or injurious either to yourself or others.
Resentment can drag on for a long time poisoning everything
and everyone in its path. Your relationship falls apart, sexual
desires diminish or just go away and the lives of those around you often
becomes a living hell.
It requires a great deal of energy
to feed and refuel resentment. Like a railroad train, once those
feelings are set into motion stopping them on your own can be virtually
impossible. The "offender(s)" will never be able to stop your
resentment since they are the reason for your feelings of annoyance. It's
up to you.
It seems that nothing anyone says or does will correct
the injustices that they have inflicted on you. Resentment gets
played over and over again in your head at real or imagined
injustices making them seem worse and making you more emotional.
There becomes little or no room for genuine communication in or out
of the bedroom. Don't expect to have great sex until you resolve
those feelings of resentment.
Solutions to resentment can
come from forgiveness a little bit of resolution therapy and a desire to
be happy again. Perhaps we can help you rekindle that inner core of
happiness with private
sessions in the comfort of your home.
Do The
Paperwork Now and Start Lovin' Again
ARGUMENTS
We argue because we disagree. People argue because they
disagree. It is because each person thinks they are right. Consider the
possibility that you may be wrong. Look at the argument from the other
person's viewpoint. How important is it for you to be "right?" Sit down
and discuss the issue rationally. Agree on points that are not so
important to you. Arguing with your partner will normally shutdown
any possibilities of good sex, never mind great lovemaking.
If you disagree with your partner on anything, be willing
to sit down and discuss it. I suggest you get naked, sit in the middle
of the bed with your legs crossed facing each other. Only three
rules.
- 1. Do not allow phone calls, or any other disturbance to interfere
with the negotiations.
- 2. No sleep until a mutually agreeable solution is found. And
- 3. No sex until the problem is solved to each person's satisfaction.
To make it work, listen to the other person's point of
view and find a compromise that will work for both of you. When couples
are unable to settle their differences of opinion, is when relationships
fall apart.
CHILDREN
THE CHATTER AND DEMANDS OF CHILDREN can present
roadblocks to the romance you may have known in your "pre-children" years.
Hint: With younger children put them to bed earlier so you have some
evening time to romance each other. With older and more inquisitive
children, schedule seductive, all night trips away from home for love,
passion and premeditated lovemaking. Escape from the pressures of everyday
activities and take time for yourselves. Go out on a date every couple of
weeks for a weekend to remember.
Men: Take your lady out on
a date for dinner and an overnight at a local hotel or motel with dinner
can go a long ways. Be romantic and remember to send or bring flowers.
Ladies: Your man is taking you out on a date and wants to
seduce you. Help him. Toss out the old flannel nightie and replace it with
something that will be exciting for both of you. Dress to be undressed.
Enjoy the dinner and find only good things about the evening. Expect to
make passionate Love.
Always be sure to make time for yourself
and your partner. Your good lovin' is important!
IMPOTENCE
The first time a man loses and erection or does not get
an erection he panics. He feels like he has lost his manhood and fears it
will never come back. Guys, it is normal to lose an erection or
maybe not even get an erection once in a great while. Age typically is not
a problem. Men have sired children in their 70's and 80's and you can too!
If you are having an erection problem check with your medical
doctor first. If there are no medical reason for your problem
then it's probably all in your head and we can fix that! There are
a couple of good reasons why you may be having difficulty getting an
erection.
On the extreme edge, you may be with or have been
with, what I call a castrating female. She belittles you and demands you
perform more, better or differently. Even if she is no longer in your
life, you may find "performing" for your new lover a problem.
Guilt is an erection killer. Very often guys will have a
problem getting an erection when out with someone other than their wife.
When they get home and attempt to make love with the wife, guilt over
their affair overcomes them and their penis fails them.
Face it
guys sometimes sex is not as exciting as you thought it might be and
you lose interest. If you lost interest or maybe just didn't feel like
having sex, you may lose your erection or not even get one.
Sometimes a fright, like her boyfriend walking in, causes
you to lose the erection. The next time you are in a sexual situation, you
remember losing your erection and you began to worry about that happening
again. You never worried about losing an erection before that incident but
since then all you worry about is not getting or losing the erection.
Guess what happens? That's right. HINT: Focus on all the times you have
gotten an erection instead.
If you get an erection in your
sleep or when looking at the playboy centerfold. If you get and maintain
an erection during masturbation, impotence is all in your head and can be
corrected.
PREMATURE EJACULATION
Having a problem with premature ejaculation (PE) really
limits the fun you and your partner can have. Typically a PE occurs
just before or immediately after vaginal penetration. Anxiety of
premature ejaculation or a fear of ruining the sexual encounter with a PE
is the usual cause. Anxiety and fear only increase the chances for a PE.
As with erection problems, if there is no medical reason for PE then it
simply must be some inappropriate thinking which is keeping you from some
serious lovemaking. This is correctable.
NO SEXUAL DESIRE
While not exclusive to women, a lack of sexual desire
tends to be more of a feminine trait. It may be simply because the man
in her life is not romancing her the way he use to. Perhaps too many
meaningless sexual encounters have left her expecting little or no
pleasure, so the attitude is "why bother?" Often the stress and tension of
everyday life, work, kids, laundry, cooking, etc. leave little room for
sex, never mind lovemaking.
Sometimes the troubles are
deeper. Possible sexual molestation as a youngster, rape, an
ineffective or uncaring partner in the past. Mother may have taught her
that sex was dirty and only a duty to be endured. Some religions have a
very intolerant attitude about sex scaring the young child with possible
fear or loathing of sex. If the religious impressions are deep enough they
can suppress normal sexual response as an adult. Too much pain at
childbirth and a hidden anxiety of making more babies can destroy
lovemaking even when precautions are taken.
Unless there is an
apparent physical problem, the inability to enjoy sexual intercourse lies
not between your legs, but between your ears. Healthy women should be able
to enjoy making love as much or even more than men. As a woman you owe it
to yourself to frequently experience the joys of lovemaking.
WHAT TO
DO
Review the information about Private Sessions then
Do The
Paperwork and Email it to me along with some information that will
help me understand your specific need.
Traditional Approaches
You could spend many fruitless months and years of
embarrassing talk about your sex problems with a psychologist or a sex
counselor. The results, while they sound promising, are too often
disappointing. The reason? Traditional approaches may agree that your
troubles are all in your subconscious mind, but their therapy is normally
directed towards making conscious change. If you could have made the
change consciously, you would have already done it yourself! They will
ask you to talk about embarrassing things, perform "sex exercises" then
report back with details of the exercise.
MIND STRATEGY
Dr. Gagnon's Mind StrategyTM solutions are
more appropriate. The problems you have are not conscious, that is you
don't do what you do on purpose do you? No of course not, the problem is
subconscious. We help you to reprogram your unconscious mind where the
problem has been. Soon, sooner than you would expect, you will be enjoying
sexual activity more than ever.
If your sex problems are traumatic and deeply rooted in
rage, anger, sadness,
shame, guilt and/or betrayal as a result of sexual abuse
or rape, look towards a few private
sessions in the privacy of your home. In most cases we
can help you to rapidly clear whatever has been blocking your peak sexual
performance so you can fully enjoy your sexuality.
Do The
Paperwork Now and Start Lovin' Again
THE SOLUTION
Do The
Paperwork
GUARANTEE
I am so confident that I can make a difference in your
life that if, after the first visit, you have not experienced improvement
I will not charge you for our time in that session and there will be no further
obligation on your part.
Problems like this don't just go away, they usually get
worse over time.
Isn't it time you did something about it once and for
all?
FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION HERE
You May Only Need One Session!
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